Good day ppl,
I'm on a tele-seminar with Tipahni Montgomery and Azarel. It's very informative and motivational. Thanks ladies for you advice and candidness. Guess I better get writing.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Monday, March 11, 2013
Good day ppl,
Last Wednesday us ladies gathered at my sister Dora’s house for our monthly book meeting going over last month’s read and taking a notes on what our next book will be when my great niece Tee-Tee said , “Ladies this book right here is a must read.” So I looked at the cover and saw some handcuffs and what looked to be a woman’s silhouette with her hands tied over her head. I read the title “Pleasure Me Please.” Now initially I thought nothing of it and kindly put it down with the other non-winners, when Tee-Tee picked it up saying, “Come on ladies it’s time y’all join the new millennium and step up your sex game and this book here will teach you all you need to know. Please believe it.”
Showing that much enthusiasm I took the bait and inquired what info was in this book that I needed to know. Tee-Tee gleefully responded, “its all about BDSM.” So of course I’m thinking what in the world is BDSM. I guess she could see the confusion written all over my face ‘cause she squawked, yes squawked cause she ain’t nothing but a bird, well any way she went on, “Auntie let me break it down for you,”
Bondage - tying up of partner for sexual act
Domination- the person running the show and constructing how the sex play will go
Sadism- someone who likes to inflict pain of a sexual nature on their partner
Masochism-the person who likes to receive pain of a sexual nature from their partner
She said Dom’s and Sub’s enter into a contract where they agree upon limits, as well as, safe words during play. I’m sitting there thinking now what in tar-nation would make her think that me and my Herb would be the least bit interested in-as she put it- “spicing our love life up” by stepping out of the box. Honestly can you picture a mature older lady like myself wearing nothing but nipple clamps, a gag and leather panties chained to the wall. ME NEITHER. And I seriously doubt that I’ll remember any safe words. Heck I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast.
I’m a lady and there is no way I nor Herb for that matter would tolerate entering into a written contract detailing our terms for strong goes and no-goes for Bondage and discipline, Domination and submission. Come to think we already have a contract for being bonded, disciplined, dominated and submitted… It’s called MARRIAGE.
I guess it takes all kinds, but I really wish these younguns would leave all their new fandangle sexual fetishes to themselves. I tell you I’m over It.
Here's another installment of Aunt Margret.......enjoy!
What Aunt Margaret has to say about BDSM
Last Wednesday us ladies gathered at my sister Dora’s house for our monthly book meeting going over last month’s read and taking a notes on what our next book will be when my great niece Tee-Tee said , “Ladies this book right here is a must read.” So I looked at the cover and saw some handcuffs and what looked to be a woman’s silhouette with her hands tied over her head. I read the title “Pleasure Me Please.” Now initially I thought nothing of it and kindly put it down with the other non-winners, when Tee-Tee picked it up saying, “Come on ladies it’s time y’all join the new millennium and step up your sex game and this book here will teach you all you need to know. Please believe it.”
Showing that much enthusiasm I took the bait and inquired what info was in this book that I needed to know. Tee-Tee gleefully responded, “its all about BDSM.” So of course I’m thinking what in the world is BDSM. I guess she could see the confusion written all over my face ‘cause she squawked, yes squawked cause she ain’t nothing but a bird, well any way she went on, “Auntie let me break it down for you,”
Bondage - tying up of partner for sexual act
Domination- the person running the show and constructing how the sex play will go
Sadism- someone who likes to inflict pain of a sexual nature on their partner
Masochism-the person who likes to receive pain of a sexual nature from their partner
She said Dom’s and Sub’s enter into a contract where they agree upon limits, as well as, safe words during play. I’m sitting there thinking now what in tar-nation would make her think that me and my Herb would be the least bit interested in-as she put it- “spicing our love life up” by stepping out of the box. Honestly can you picture a mature older lady like myself wearing nothing but nipple clamps, a gag and leather panties chained to the wall. ME NEITHER. And I seriously doubt that I’ll remember any safe words. Heck I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast.
I’m a lady and there is no way I nor Herb for that matter would tolerate entering into a written contract detailing our terms for strong goes and no-goes for Bondage and discipline, Domination and submission. Come to think we already have a contract for being bonded, disciplined, dominated and submitted… It’s called MARRIAGE.
I guess it takes all kinds, but I really wish these younguns would leave all their new fandangle sexual fetishes to themselves. I tell you I’m over It.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Good day ppl,
I know I'm a little late with Aunt Margret's take on..... So with out further delay I present
What is America’s sudden fascination with anal sex. You would think something as hush hush as anal sex would be taboo. And not just for men but women too. Gone are the days when people thought it was a gay man thing; all of a sudden it’s the thing to do.
A few weeks ago I was invited to an upscale bridal shower at a five star restaurant. I’m talking pinky out fancy-smancy. I eagerly watched the bride open up this exquisitely wrapped gift with a beautifully tied bow on top only to feel appalled at the lewd contents which included the first-timers anal sex guide, butt plugs, anal beads, an anal dildo and of course lube. There was even anal douche. One of the guest had the audacity to gift the bride-to-be with this thing she had the gall to call “The Ultimate Anal Package.” The nerve of this woman-and I use that term loosely-praising her gift saying it had everything needed to enjoy an experience with anal games. To make matters worse another guest described how she lubed her man up well, fingered his poop shooter then donned her strap on and gave him the thrill of a lifetime. I don’t care how enjoyable it can be when the tons of sensitive anal nerves are stimulated. And I could care less if my Herb’s prostate can reap the benefits of some good titillation. Anal sex should definitely be one of those sexual taboos that remains taboo. Get over it America! Everyone does not need to know what goes on in your bedroom.
I know I'm a little late with Aunt Margret's take on..... So with out further delay I present
Aunt Margret’s take on Anal Sex
What is America’s sudden fascination with anal sex. You would think something as hush hush as anal sex would be taboo. And not just for men but women too. Gone are the days when people thought it was a gay man thing; all of a sudden it’s the thing to do.
A few weeks ago I was invited to an upscale bridal shower at a five star restaurant. I’m talking pinky out fancy-smancy. I eagerly watched the bride open up this exquisitely wrapped gift with a beautifully tied bow on top only to feel appalled at the lewd contents which included the first-timers anal sex guide, butt plugs, anal beads, an anal dildo and of course lube. There was even anal douche. One of the guest had the audacity to gift the bride-to-be with this thing she had the gall to call “The Ultimate Anal Package.” The nerve of this woman-and I use that term loosely-praising her gift saying it had everything needed to enjoy an experience with anal games. To make matters worse another guest described how she lubed her man up well, fingered his poop shooter then donned her strap on and gave him the thrill of a lifetime. I don’t care how enjoyable it can be when the tons of sensitive anal nerves are stimulated. And I could care less if my Herb’s prostate can reap the benefits of some good titillation. Anal sex should definitely be one of those sexual taboos that remains taboo. Get over it America! Everyone does not need to know what goes on in your bedroom.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Aunt Margaret's Take On Body Piercing
Good day ppl,
Check out this week's installment of Aunt Margret. This week Aunt Margret has a lil sumthin to say about body piercing.
Happy reading ppl enjoy!
What is it with young people today and their need to adorn their bodies with outlandish clothing, tattoos and the like. And what is it with this new trend of body piercing. I tell you young folk today do some crazy things in the name of fashion and individualism. With that being said I recently got more than I bargained for at a card game with the ladies. We gathered at Dora’s playing bid wit when Tee-Tee asked if I wanted to see her new ring. I immediately scanned her ring finger hoping that her new beau was taking her off the market. No such luck, her hand was as bare as the day she was born. So imagine my surprise when she stuck her tongue out. “Oh my child, what you got there,” I asked as I examined her lingual jewelry.
“Oh, Auntie it’s just a tongue ring. If this got you blushing I could only imagine how’d you react to my nipple piercings.”
My eyes got as big as golf balls, “Nipple piercing?” I said not even realizing I said it out loud. Tee-Tee took that as a sign to explain that sensual pleasures of piercing.
“I tell you ever since I got these bad boys pierced-she said shimming her chest-I have been on cloud nine. All it takes it’s the slightest sensation to send a wave of pleasure to my kitty.” Then she went on to say how she think’s it would be a romantic gesture for her and her man-friend to get matching piercing; for her a clit ring and for him one of them umm err whatchamacallits, ah Prince Albert. Seeing confusion on more then half the ladies faces including my own Tee-Tee explained that a Prince Albert is when a man pierces his wiener-schnitzel. She also said that although she hears it’s exceptionally erotic she doubt’s if she’ll be piercing her anal area.
That tidbit of information was more then my virgin ears needed to hear. I know that different cultures encourage their people to decorate their bodies with trinkets and paint for various reasons, but I think if mankind were intended to have their poop shooters, testicles, guiches, Johnson‘s, milk-makers, and love buttons pierced they would have come fully equipped with such items.
That being said me and my Herb won’t be venturing off to the local tattoo/piercing parlor anytime soon.
Check out this week's installment of Aunt Margret. This week Aunt Margret has a lil sumthin to say about body piercing.
Happy reading ppl enjoy!
Aunt Margaret's Take On Body Piercing
What is it with young people today and their need to adorn their bodies with outlandish clothing, tattoos and the like. And what is it with this new trend of body piercing. I tell you young folk today do some crazy things in the name of fashion and individualism. With that being said I recently got more than I bargained for at a card game with the ladies. We gathered at Dora’s playing bid wit when Tee-Tee asked if I wanted to see her new ring. I immediately scanned her ring finger hoping that her new beau was taking her off the market. No such luck, her hand was as bare as the day she was born. So imagine my surprise when she stuck her tongue out. “Oh my child, what you got there,” I asked as I examined her lingual jewelry.
“Oh, Auntie it’s just a tongue ring. If this got you blushing I could only imagine how’d you react to my nipple piercings.”
My eyes got as big as golf balls, “Nipple piercing?” I said not even realizing I said it out loud. Tee-Tee took that as a sign to explain that sensual pleasures of piercing.
“I tell you ever since I got these bad boys pierced-she said shimming her chest-I have been on cloud nine. All it takes it’s the slightest sensation to send a wave of pleasure to my kitty.” Then she went on to say how she think’s it would be a romantic gesture for her and her man-friend to get matching piercing; for her a clit ring and for him one of them umm err whatchamacallits, ah Prince Albert. Seeing confusion on more then half the ladies faces including my own Tee-Tee explained that a Prince Albert is when a man pierces his wiener-schnitzel. She also said that although she hears it’s exceptionally erotic she doubt’s if she’ll be piercing her anal area.
That tidbit of information was more then my virgin ears needed to hear. I know that different cultures encourage their people to decorate their bodies with trinkets and paint for various reasons, but I think if mankind were intended to have their poop shooters, testicles, guiches, Johnson‘s, milk-makers, and love buttons pierced they would have come fully equipped with such items.
That being said me and my Herb won’t be venturing off to the local tattoo/piercing parlor anytime soon.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
Good day ppl,
One of my random thoughts help me come up with a lovely traditional thinking older lady who has a new age thinking great-niece who thinks her job is to bring her dear ol' Aunt Margret into the new millennium.
Happy reading and please leave feedback.
Aunt Margret on Vaginal Landscaping
Let me tell you about the time I came in on the tail-end of a conversation and tried to jump right in. Let’s just say that what I thought was a simple conversation about topiary artistry and the likes had nothing to do with landscaping. Well any who, I walked into Dora’s kitchen and heard Mona talking about how her new beau likes for her bushes to be neatly trimmed and how a professional manicures her shrubbery on a regular bases.
So here I am thinking I’m just gonna add my 2 cents ‘cause everybody in the county knows how I loves a nice garden. So here I am, “Oh, you definitely need to trim them bushes every now and then. Herb always gets perturbed when my Lady Palm and the like is overgrown. When he just can’t stand the new growth he’ll get out them clippers and just have at it. Ooh wee I tell he is such a skilled shearer. Y’all should take a gander at his latest masterpiece.”
At that moment I became the focal point of everyone’s attention. Boy was it awkward standing there as the ladies stared at me all bugged eyes and wide mouthed. I wanted to know what had them in such a state of awe so I politely asked, “What you mean to tell me y’all don’t prune your shrubbery? I don’t know ‘bout y’all but I likes mine neat and tidy.”
My sister Dora who normally is as quiet as a church mouse responded, “I would of figured you more of the ol’ nat-u-ral type.”
“Dora ain’t nothing about my landscaping unnatural. Not only is it all natural, it’s also organic. I got a seal of approval to prove it too,” I says as I go to retrieve my Landscaper’s license from my purse.
“Oh, no no no that’s all right I’ll take your word for it,” Dora insisted.
“Wow that’s the first I ever heard of vaginal landscaping being called organic,” Tee-Tee said actually sounding shocked.
“Vaginal landscaping?” I said meekly.
“Yes Auntie vaginal landscaping. The art of cultivating pubic hair into a pattern.” Then she proceeded to name the various styles of shaving and designs. “Like the landing strip, the Brazilian, or the Bermuda Triangle. They even have designers like:
Betty Beauty: bikini hair dye, but they also offer crystal letters, shapes, and hair stenciling kits.
Vajazzle: crystal tattoo designs that stay on the vagina area for up to three days.
Foxing: attaching a fox fur “wig”(dyed or natural color) to the skin… Luxury at its best.
Feathering : just like foxxing, but it’s safely gluing feathers into fun shapes and designs.
Goodness gracious I have not been that embarrassed in quite a while. And believe me that’s the last time I go opening my big mouth. And for what it’s worth I don’t see what’s so great about shaving, waxing, plucking perfectly good pubic hair in the name of feminine etiquette. I say it’s there for a reason, so leave it be.
Vaginal Landscaping who would have thunk…..oh well!
One of my random thoughts help me come up with a lovely traditional thinking older lady who has a new age thinking great-niece who thinks her job is to bring her dear ol' Aunt Margret into the new millennium.
Happy reading and please leave feedback.
Aunt Margret on Vaginal Landscaping
Let me tell you about the time I came in on the tail-end of a conversation and tried to jump right in. Let’s just say that what I thought was a simple conversation about topiary artistry and the likes had nothing to do with landscaping. Well any who, I walked into Dora’s kitchen and heard Mona talking about how her new beau likes for her bushes to be neatly trimmed and how a professional manicures her shrubbery on a regular bases.
So here I am thinking I’m just gonna add my 2 cents ‘cause everybody in the county knows how I loves a nice garden. So here I am, “Oh, you definitely need to trim them bushes every now and then. Herb always gets perturbed when my Lady Palm and the like is overgrown. When he just can’t stand the new growth he’ll get out them clippers and just have at it. Ooh wee I tell he is such a skilled shearer. Y’all should take a gander at his latest masterpiece.”
At that moment I became the focal point of everyone’s attention. Boy was it awkward standing there as the ladies stared at me all bugged eyes and wide mouthed. I wanted to know what had them in such a state of awe so I politely asked, “What you mean to tell me y’all don’t prune your shrubbery? I don’t know ‘bout y’all but I likes mine neat and tidy.”
My sister Dora who normally is as quiet as a church mouse responded, “I would of figured you more of the ol’ nat-u-ral type.”
“Dora ain’t nothing about my landscaping unnatural. Not only is it all natural, it’s also organic. I got a seal of approval to prove it too,” I says as I go to retrieve my Landscaper’s license from my purse.
“Oh, no no no that’s all right I’ll take your word for it,” Dora insisted.
“Wow that’s the first I ever heard of vaginal landscaping being called organic,” Tee-Tee said actually sounding shocked.
“Vaginal landscaping?” I said meekly.
“Yes Auntie vaginal landscaping. The art of cultivating pubic hair into a pattern.” Then she proceeded to name the various styles of shaving and designs. “Like the landing strip, the Brazilian, or the Bermuda Triangle. They even have designers like:
Betty Beauty: bikini hair dye, but they also offer crystal letters, shapes, and hair stenciling kits.
Vajazzle: crystal tattoo designs that stay on the vagina area for up to three days.
Foxing: attaching a fox fur “wig”(dyed or natural color) to the skin… Luxury at its best.
Feathering : just like foxxing, but it’s safely gluing feathers into fun shapes and designs.
Goodness gracious I have not been that embarrassed in quite a while. And believe me that’s the last time I go opening my big mouth. And for what it’s worth I don’t see what’s so great about shaving, waxing, plucking perfectly good pubic hair in the name of feminine etiquette. I say it’s there for a reason, so leave it be.
Vaginal Landscaping who would have thunk…..oh well!
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